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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Life Advice Not from a Birth, Wedding or Funeral: Best 2013 Commencement Speech Quotes

We are amazed that the only time there tends to be great advice given is during life's elations or tragedies.  Well what about the kind of advice that happens when you are able to sit at the doorway of your biggest life opportunities and that advice comes from a well experienced person hoping to give you their best advice right before you are released with all the opportunity and courage that you will likely be able to muster before life gets more complicated?

This advice normally only comes during commencement!

As we perused the different pieces of advice shared thus far from commencements occurring across the United States from some of the most intellectual, seasoned and knowledgeable leaders of the highest influence, we wanted to give you nuggets that we think are applicable to anyone no matter what season of life they are in...

Dick Costolo, CEO of Twitter (University of Michigan)

"As you get ready to walk out under the bright lights of the improvisational stage of the rest of your life... be bold. Don't always worry about what your next line is going to be."

David Brooks, NY Times Columnist (Sewanee, University of the South)

"Don't think about what you want from life. Think about what life wants from you. If you're observant, some large problem will plop itself in front of you. It will define your mission and your calling. Your passion won't come from inside. It will come from outside."

Carson Kressley, Fashion Celebrity (Philadelphia University)

"If you live your life only following the path you think is approved or acceptable, or the one you think is expected of you, you'll be making a huge mistake. Not a single successful person... has ever done great things because they played it safe. You've got to be true to yourself."

Darius Rucker, Hootie & the Blowfish (University of South Carolina)

"..find something that makes you want to give 'til it hurts."

Cory Booker, Mayor of Newark (Yale University)

"Get out of bed. Keep going. I will not quit. I will not give up no matter how dark the days, no matter how big my failure. I won't lose lessons that I could gather while on my knees. I won't lose the lessons I can find in my lowest pits of despair, because when I emerge, it's those lessons that will define my being.'"

Mark Shields, Political Analyst (Saint Michaels College)

"Call your mother...not text, not e-mail--call her. She wants to hear how you sound." [If you become parents,] "spend more time than you judge to be reasonable with your children. Please know that no one in recorded history, on his or her death bed has ever said, 'Gee, I wish I had spent more time at the office.'"

Rick Hodes, Physician and Author (Brandeis University)

"Remember this: Run to do good. Create a momentum in the right direction. Get your hands dirty. Wear out your shoes. Don't try to get too comfortable, please!"

Carlos Eire, Author and Professor (Midland University)

"If it weren't for my failures and my painful experiences, I would not be here today speaking to you...It's a way of saying the risks I took brought me here. Failure has brought me to his podium, more failures than I can count...These failures are my trophies."

Steve Case, Co-Founder of AOL (University of North Carolina)

"Be curious. Be open. Be flexible. Let your life unfold as a series of chapters. Don't be so fixated on a specific ending that you neglect to open the door when opportunity knocks."

Arianna Huffington, Journalist and Author (Smith College)

"And remember that while there will be plenty of signposts along your path directing you to make money and climb up the ladder, there will be almost no signposts reminding you to stay connected to the essence of who you are, to take care of yourself along the way, to reach out to others, to pause to wonder, and to connect to that place from which everything is possible."

No matter your age, stage, season or past, these quotes are still applicable in the life that wants to be impactful and fulfill its purpose...

Curva-Lish Team
curvalish@gmail.com

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In" Interview Summary

We have been surprised at the intensity of opinions regarding Facebook's Sheryl Sandberg's perspective in her new book "Lean In".

We are huge fans of PBS' MakersWomen series on YouTube whose mission originated from a clear premise that over the last half century, the work of millions of women has altered virtually every aspect of American culture.  Makers features groundbreaking women who have sparked change, been first i in their fields and paved the way for those that followed.

We at Curva-Lish wanted to not only include a short video highlight of Sheryl Sandberg's "Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead" message but also include a summary transcript of her full interview.




JUDY WOODRUFF: Some consider the book a kind of feminist manifesto, but her writings and interviews have spawned a flurry of news headlines across the media world, a major criticism, that Sandberg, a multimillionaire, Harvard graduate, protégé of former Treasury Secretary Larry Summers, and one-time executive at Google, is too much a part of the elite to provide advice that's useful for many working women.

SHERYL SANDBERG: I am not saying that everyone has the resources or opportunities I have. I'm not saying that everyone's husband is going to wake up tomorrow, read a book and start doing his share. We need to help women own the power they have, learn how to negotiate for raises, get the pay they deserve.

JUDY WOODRUFF: On ABC's "Nightline," Sandberg said even she realized that she needed to be more aggressive on her own behalf when she was first offered the Facebook job.

SHERYL SANDBERG: It was my brother-in-law who said to me, what, are you kidding? No one takes the first offer. Go negotiate. And I said, well, if I negotiate, maybe he won't like me. Maybe I won't get the job. It won't work out.
And he said to me, why are you going to take this job and make less than any man would take? And that was motivating.

JUDY WOODRUFF: Sandberg insists she is not letting employers off the hook. But her emphasis is on motivating women to help themselves by thinking and acting differently.

We dive deeper now into the reaction with perspectives from three women who have written on this. Katha Pollitt is a well-known writer, essayist, poet, and critic who writes a column in The Nation. Danielle Belton is the creator and editor of a blog on pop culture and politics called The Black Snob. And Jody Greenstone Miller is a businesswoman who has served in senior roles in both the private sector and government. She is the founder and CEO of Business Talent Group, a consulting firm.

Katha Pollitt, you had a mostly positive reaction to what Sandberg has written. What does she bring to this long-simmering discussion?

KATHA POLLITT, Author/Essayist: Well, I think she brings optimism.

I think that's so important. I think a lot of the writing and conversation about women and work, it's a real downer. It's, oh, you will have a baby and then you won't be able to come back. And, oh, God, you're going to feel guilty all the time. It's really terrible. Your husband isn't going to help you. You probably won't get that job anyway.

And, you know, she brings to it sort of like, well, why don't you do what you can to make sure that that terrible fate doesn't befall you? Make sure you and your husband are on the same page about equality in the home. Don't marry a man who isn't equal. Be on the lookout for things like -- that drag down your own confidence like the impostor syndrome. Who doesn't have that? I'm a fraud and soon people are going to find out.

I think it's a very -- it's all framed in a very positive way. I think that's what people like about it.

JUDY WOODRUFF: Danielle Belton, you were saying to us that you think she has useful advice for a certain group of women, but that she doesn't reach a broad -- a broader group of working women.

DANIELLE BELTON, The Black Snob: Well, yes.

When she's talking about how there's not enough women leaders in some of these CEO positions, which specific women is she referring to? Often who fills these positions come from the Ivy League system. They come from the elite. They come from the upper echelons of society.
She's not necessarily talking about women who came from my alma mater, Southern Illinois University in Edwardsville. You know, it seemed like she's asking women of the elite to make a choice and to choose the harder path by pursuing these higher-level positions.

The problem is she wrote a book that was for all women, as opposed to narrowing the focus there. And so I feel like that's where a lot of this criticism and confusion is coming from, because a lot of things she says make sense if she is talking about her own peers. It doesn't necessarily make sense if she's talking about all women in general, because the plight of working-class, poor and middle-class women is demonstrably different.

JUDY WOODRUFF: Jody Greenstone Miller, how do you see that?

JODY GREENSTONE MILLER, Business Talent Group: Well, to me, everything Sheryl says makes sense. And I think people should listen to her.

I think if we listen to her, however, we will not solve the problem that she herself so eloquently states, which is how do we get to a world where half of our leaders are women? And I believe if that's our goal, which I think it should be, the problem is women aren't leaning in not because they don't know how to, but because they don't like the world they're being asked to lean into.

And until we really take steps to acknowledge that and address that, I think we're going to be having this conversation 10, 20, 30, 40 years from now.

JUDY WOODRUFF: Katha Pollitt, what about these points that there is a role for the work -- for employers, the folks who are doing the hiring and the promoting, and that there is perhaps a swathe of women who are left out of what Sheryl Sandberg is writing?

KATHA POLLITT: Well, the first point I think is absolutely true.

The main responsibility for changing this situation cannot rest on individual women. There are plenty of women who have leaned in very hard and are just invisible to people who do not want to employ women. They may think they do, but each individual woman, somehow, she's not the right woman.

That's why I would place much more emphasis than Sheryl Sandberg does on things like affirmative action, anti-discrimination suits, quotas. Do you know that the only countries where women are gaining in representation in legislatures are countries that have quotas of how many women should be there and parties that have quotas of how many women candidates they put up?

If things keep going this way in America, it is going to be 70 years before we get to parity in Congress.

That's a long time. The second point, I think, is also sort of true. But, you know, I'm not in the running to be a CEO. I'm a writer. I was a freelance writer and an editor at The Nation for most of my life. And I do find some of the things she says quite useful.

I think, for example, if you're a schoolteacher, why is it that the principal is usually a man? A schoolteacher can become a principal.

JUDY WOODRUFF: Let me stop you there and come back to Danielle Belton.

What about this point from Katha Pollitt that, yes, employers do have a role, but there is something useful for all women to take away from this about how they view themselves in the work -- in a work role?

DANIELLE BELTON: Well, the part of the book that I felt that really personally resonated for me was the one about women and confidence, women and being able to clearly state their power, because often women are socialized to really downplay their gifts. They're socialized to be polite. I often call it apologizing for existing.

It's like you have gotten this great job. You do a great job at it. You work very hard and diligently. But then when someone asks you to speak up, you still have this fallback urge to downplay all the work, the hard work that you have done. But you don't say, “May I please have a raise?” You ask and demand for that raise.

And so that portion of the book, I feel, is applicable to lots of women in the career and in the work force.

JODY GREENSTONE MILLER: I think we have to open our minds and imagine that we can have a CEO who is working three days a week and structuring the world around her to accommodate that in a way that it will be good for her and good for the business and good for the men. And that's what I think we should aspire to do.

And, by the way, Sheryl is in a good position to try to do this. So, I would love to see her try to institute some of that at Facebook.

Curva-Lish Team
curvalish@gmail.com


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

One Woman's Journey of 26 Acts of Kindness

In response to the tragedy that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary school in Newton, Connecticut, a movement caught on that was dubbed "26 Acts of Kindness".  It was spread through features such as the Today Show and during the months of December and January, millions of people took to Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.  As of this posting, people are still posting to the #26actsofkindness hashtag on Twitter and Instagram showed over 4,000 photos posted to #26actsofkindness and over 9,000 photos posted to #26acts.

We were so touched by the movement that we wanted to highlight someone's personal journey and what they learned in performing the 26 acts.  We selected Alyson because she is a heartfelt volunteer in the Dallas, Texas community.


There doesn't need to be a long bio to describe her...her Instagram account bio says it best: a wife, mother and friend.

Here is our interview with Alyson:

What made you decide to take action and get involved in the 26 Acts of Kindness movement?

After seeing the tragedy of Sandy Hook I was devastated. One morning I saw Ann Curry on television speaking about the 26 victims and I was bothered as a former teacher and as a mother who knows the stigma associated with mental illness from having a child with mental health issues.

What bothered you the most about the tragedy?

I was concerned that there would be a stigma regarding people who suffer from a mental health issue.  I also can't imagine trying to protect those innocent children and the devastation that the survivors have to continue to face...the innocence of those children will be forever changed.

When you got started, what was the first thing you did?

I first wrote a note that I knew I wanted to include and leave behind for each Act of Kindness.

I then set about getting gift cards because I knew both male and females would like them.  I then just started immediately with leaving the gift cards on cars as I went about running errands.  I knew that the surprise of seeing those gift cards on their cars and reading the note would create smiles even if I wasn't there to see them.

What was your favorite Act of Kindness that you performed?

It was a lunch where I gave the cashier $20 in order to pay for the orders of the next few cars and requested to have the note read.  That was fun!

I also had fun at a checkout at Trader Joe's.  The cashier was a guy who went above and beyond his responsibility to go find something that I needed but couldn't find.  I had an iTunes gift card with me so I gave him the card and note.  He was SO surprised!  He wasn't being nice to me to get a gift which is what made his surprise that much more special.


How has your participation in the Acts of Kindness movement impacted you?

I finished all 26 acts in December and it made me feel grateful that I was doing something to pay it forward.  I wanted to create something positive out of the negative tragedy that occurred.  It's like bringing light into the world amidst darkness. I also plan on continuing to perform Acts of Kindness all year and it truly will become a lifestyle for me.

I was also excited that the movement impacted others around me.  A friend brought treats to a doctor's office and that little surprise brightened their day.

Do you have any suggestions for others who will be inspired by your story and want to have their own 26 Acts of Kindness journey?

Yes.  It doesn't have to cost money to perform acts of kindness.  Just use a note, donate your time or clothes/food, etc. that you aren't going to use...the possibilities are limitless and the lives you will touch are limitless.

Any last words?

Yes.  I think it is very important for people to feel brave about acknowledging their own mental health issues.  Someone you may know also needs help.  Never give up on your ability to lead a healthy lifestyle while courageously managing your issues and getting help.  Also, I would suggest doing like I did and seek out help from a support group of other Moms if it is your child.

My favorite non-profit for "erasing the stigma" of mental illness is the Grant Halliburton Foundation. (To find out more about this organization and to donate please go to:  GH Foundation)

We hope you are inspired and don't just stop at being inspired...go out and make a commitment to perform your own Acts of Kindness not only in remembrance of the 26 victims of Sandy Hook Elementary but also to spread light in the midst of darkness.

Curva-Lish Team
curvalish@gmail.com