Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Fall into New Beginnings: I Like My __! (Part 2)

The world is continually exposing people's personal lives but may appear to show the "highlight reel" instead of the true real-ness of what it means to build, sustain and reach for life's pleasures, joys, disappointments, goals, stress and moments that aren't so pleasant.

This post is strictly dedicated to help you fall back in love with YOUR life as a new beginning with a different perspective.  In order to find contentment, joy, peace and overall well-being, you have to make sure that you aren't comparing yourself to your neighbors, co-workers, friends, family, etc.

To give you inspiration, we LOVE this popular 49-second YouTube video...take a quick look:

When was the last time you looked in the mirror and encouraged yourself saying:
  • I like my family!
  • I like my hair!
  • I like my cousins!
  • I like my house!
  • I like my friends!
  • I can do anything!
Falling into new beginnings first starts with you developing an attitude of gratefulness of where you are and reflecting back on how far you have come to get where you are today.  Everyone loves an inspirational example but don't let that inspiration spill over into making you believe that your life doesn't count and it isn't just as amazing...we guarantee you that there are others that look at your life and think it's pretty spectacular...So should you!

However, we at Curva-Lish also understand that there can be times when you need to adopt new or different habits that may be robbing you of your ability to truly appreciate where you are...we have gathered some resources that we believe will help you create a new beginning:


You Are Stuck:  If you are stuck and need an outside opinion of how to go from where you are to where you are trying to get to, we think that hiring a coach is an investment worth making.  You can find a coach in your area by searching for a certified coach through the International Coaching Federation.  Keep in mind the difference between coaching and counseling...

Traditional Therapy or Counseling Coaching
Pirmary Life Focus A person’s past A person’s present
Subject Focus Feelings Action and outcomes and feelings
Model Medical or clinical, relying on diagnosis of pathology or relationship conflicts Learning/developmental, focusing on attainable goals; positive emotion
Nature of Issue Identifiable dysfunction Generally functional client desiring a better situation through skillful means
Treatment of the Past Understand and resolve the past Understanding the past as the context in which future goals are set
Questions Asked WHY? HOW?  WHAT?
Client Goals
Help patients resolve old pain and improve emotional states

Helps clients learn new skills and tools to build a more successful future; focuses on goals

You Don't Know How to Forgive:  Forgiveness is something that we are all aware that we need to do but have trouble doing it.  We have also found that most people focus on forgiving others (and there are plenty of resources to support you with that type of forgiveness) but what people don't focus on is what it means to forgive yourself.  Yes, you read that correctly, what does it mean to forgive and love yourself.  

You can't change your past mistakes and how it effected your life today so the best gift you can give to yourself is to forgive yourself and give yourself permission to move forward as if you have a clean slate.  You will never fully envelop your life if you don't make a firm decision to not punish yourself or beat yourself up about mistakes you have made in the past whether that was an affair, an abortion you regret, a career mistake, a healthy relationship you ended due to your own dysfunction, etc.  Learn what you can so that you won't repeat in the future but for your own life's sake, MOVE ON.

You Fantasize About a Life That Is Not Yours:  Reality television is entertaining and the number of shows has greatly increased.  These television shows can offer a temporary reprieve from the everyday vicissitudes of life but make sure that you keep that in perspective.  No matter how 'sexy' people's lives look on television or how amazing you maybe guessing that someone's life looks from the outside (whether that is your neighbor, your friend, your association leader, etc.), never try to guess at what you think their perfect life may look like.  

The truth is we all have our own life battles.  Perfection is unachievable.  The people on those reality shows are paid a lot of money to get you to tune in to the drama.

One of our staffers remembers a beautifully talented woman who was well known in her city among society and the various charities that could count on her contributions at their events.  The woman primarily supported domestic violence causes and was an advocate for other women experiencing such abuse.  It was a huge shock to the whole city when she was found dead in her mansion in one of the most prosperous zip codes in the city.  It turns out she had experienced years of domestic violence abuse at the hands of her handsome, wealthy husband.  Think about that...to the outside world her life was perfection and no one (all the staff people and workers of the domestic violence organizations that she supported) saw her secret cry for help being a victim of the abuse she supported.

We could have written many more areas that we hope you can move past but these three in particular were especially important to us at Curva-Lish.

Make YOUR life count and we hope that this post inspires you to fall into new beginnings by falling back in love with YOUR life.

Curva-Lish Team