Monday, December 3, 2012

Fall Into New Beginnings: Determine What's Enough (Part 4)

Enough is abundance to the wise. –Euripides

We have repeatedly experienced events, people, situations and circumstances where it appeared that everyone was on hyper-drive.  The sense of hyper-drive permeated everyone’s ability to fully show-up and be present in a graceful manner which robs us all of joy and peace.  This got us to thinking what could be driving our world’s insatiable view of hyper-drive, hyper-activity, perfectionism and judgmental-ness.

We first began thinking about this post from the quote by Euripides but it also shored up from some books in our library of authors ranging from a well-known interior decorator to a world-class personal coach to a quote by the world-reknown tennis player Arthur Ashe.  We hope this post causes you to pause and slow down for a moment to contemplate, during this holiday season, what is truly enough for you and your family and whether your stress, strivings and anxiousness are due to you reaching beyond what your mind, body and spirit consider to be enough for your own well-being.

Each of us has to be true to ourselves to get that sense of satisfaction in life: true to ourselves in our finances, true to ourselves in how we raise our children, true to ourselves in what career we pursue, and true to ourselves in what our inner voices are telling us.

In order to get to a sense of true-ness, an interior decorator once stated that after half a century of working with clients in their most intimate spaces, she has learned that guiding her clients to a triangular focus of SIMPLICITY, APPROPRIATENESS and BEAUTY allowed them to consistently feel a sense of true-ness not only in their interior spaces but also within themselves.

Simplicity:  style is what you leave out, not what you add
Appropriateness:  shows consideration for the feelings of others
Beauty:  inner beauty reflected as outward grace

When you consider all these three things in your determination of what's enough in your home, how you live your life and how you go about deciding what activities to be involved in, you will experience a simplistic beauty that is also appropriate based on what works for you.

Seek Clarity
Those who have clarity about what they want do not feel as stressed or rushed by the speed of life.  A lack of clarity creates “felt needs” which are emotions we feel as a result of unresolved questions or challenges (as opposed to feelings coming from a healthy place). 

A world-class personal coach who has worked with people all over the world and leaders in many different industries states that there are two main areas in which people never reach a place of clarity

"Not enough time to do all I have to do”- There was once a woman who was asked to create a new program at her children’s school that would revolutionize the way parents interacted with school administrators and even impact her church’s outreach.  Just as she was contemplating whether to lead the program, she had to quiet her ego telling her that she’d get plenty of accolades and compliments from her volunteer work.  She instead focused on how she just got a long awaited promotion at work and needed time to figure out how best to operate with her new duties and she just made a commitment to herself cook healthier, at-home meals and workout since her last health check-up was mediocre.

She ended up declining the offer and even though school administrators were very disappointed, she felt a sense of contentment and purpose because she knew her decision wasn’t a bandwidth problem, it was a matter of focusing her decision on having clarity about what would lead to her personal well-being and knowing she had enough on her plate.

 “Results I am experiencing are less than I want or expect”- Superior results comes from the ability to focus, thus empowering yourself to make a real difference.  Clarity enables you to identify the activities that will directly impact the results you want.

For example, learn to get comfortable with being unavailable.  Learn to feel comfortable with yourself when you escape.  You need time to think things through and listen to your own voice because everyone else has something else in mind for you.  You can’t react to others’ ideas of who and what you are.

Stay in bed when you aren’t even sick, be okay with a messy house if you know you need to recharge and go get a massage, don’t feel guilty if you missed out on a reunion out of state in order to save money for your overdue vacation.  Doing these things will help you think about how your current efforts are not leading you to get the results you want or expect.  Your inner voice will have an opportunity to speak to you and make necessary changes to get better results.

Re-Think Perfection
The idea of perfection is dangerous to well-being…it is killing us.  Let go of the idea that you can be a savior to others.  Live with the knowledge that you have done your best.  Unrealistic expectations leaver you forever disappointed and never reaching a place of contentment in your life. 

Perfection is the death of spontaneity, originality and good fun! People who take risks, who are creative and love to experiment and improvise and make the best of what they have tend to have more fun day to day.

People tend to live all-or-nothing lives.  They tend to swing from black or white, fat or thin, loving or judgmental, caring or abusive…this leaves too little tolerance for their real personality.  Arthur Ashe once said, “You’ve got to be tense when it counts.  If you try to be intense twenty-four hours a day, you’re not going to last very long.”

Don’t impose unrealistic expectations upon yourself…learn to moderate yourself as you go along and hone in on what activities, people and circumstances will allow you to be in a place of contentment with knowing that your blessings are due to you having determined what is enough for you, your family and your overall well-being.

Curva-Lish Team