Saturday, July 16, 2016

How Limits Can Help You Achieve Greatness

Copied from one of my favorite books: The Power of Less

I've shared how once I became an entrepreneur, I also started adopting principles associated with Essentialism.

This passage captured in The Power of Less is a perfect description of why I choose to live a simpler (but thriving) life...

Going from a limitless life that's overwhelming and not very effective to a life with limits, focus and power is an incredible transformation.

Here are just a few benefits of setting limits on everything you do:
* It simplifies things. Your life becomes more manageable and less stressful.

* It focus you. Instead of diluting yourself, you focus your energy on a smaller number of things.

* It focus on what's important. Instead of trying to do everything and not having enough time for the important things in life, you do only what's important to you.

* It helps you achieve. Many times, when we are spread too thin, we only make incremental progress on important projects and goals. But if we focus on just a few important things, we can actually complete them. You'll achieve much more by focusing on the essential.

* It shows others that your time is important. When we try to take on everything that comes our way, the people around us get the message that their time is more important than ours, that we'll say yes to whatever requests they have. If, however, we have firm limits on what we do, we send the message that we value our time and our priorities. Others will value our time in return.

* It makes you more effective. By doing less of the busy work, and more of the important work, you are spinning your wheels and using your limited time and energy on something with lasting impact. That helps you make the best use of your time, and eliminates much of the nonessential in your life.

I hope this empowers you to set the type of limits that will cause you to thrive and focus on what gives your life it's most valuable meaning.

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Saturday, July 9, 2016

Goal Setting 2.0: Speak Up & Ask For It

90% of my career has been working in male dominate industries. So I was able to directly observe how men go about positioning themselves for promotion, going after their goals and assembling a team or resources to support that goal.

This brings me to the purpose of this post: I have seen and known of more people not successfully meeting their goals because they didn't make clear, well articulated statements about what it is that they want! This was one of my most key observations from seeing the men I worked with achieve their goals time and time again.

Read that paragraph again. And again.

I know there's plenty of research and gurus that talk about the importance of your mentality (what you think), your execution, etc. These are important.

But ask yourself, can you tell me in 30 seconds or less what it is you REALLY want?

Most people can't.

And to clarify: you will know whether you are being clear in describing what it is you want because I should be able to "see" it too just by you describing it.

Why is this important?

You can't expect other people to know how to support or help you if you don't even know what it is you want!

Let me give you two examples:

Example #1: there is a kind woman I met about two years ago. Since we met through a mutual connection, I have made repeated requests to her in supporting the growth of my business. She is a great person who has repeatedly come to mind when I needed support for unproven products or ideas.

But here's the interesting part...she rarely  asks for my help or support in return. I've almost had to stalk her to accept help from me or to create an idea for her on how I can help.

And guess what: I wouldn't be surprised if she felt like our relationship was one-sided. But that was not my intention in making repeated asks. I'm just comfortable with asking and being clear about what I want!

Here's the key idea: you cannot be upset with someone who you may feel isn't being supportive all because YOU haven't been clear in what it is that you want!

You are to blame. Not them.

So imagine my shock when, after two years of a growing friendship, she sent me note asking for my support of her most direct and clear request to date! I was almost stumbling over myself typing out the "Yes!"

Note: this is not about a "tit-for-tat", I do for you, you do for me. This is about a genuine desire to be of service to help other people win while you also pursue those things that will help you win by directly and clearly asking for what you want!

Example #2: I bumped into a very old friend who told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Due to her limited energy from radiation treatment and challenging work as a corporate attorney, she needed personal assistant help.

She was very clear in what she needed and how much time and pay that would require. Because she was so clear, another friend who has time but needs to earn some extra cash popped into my head!!!

I immediately described my other friend, her professional background and the specific amount of time and money she needed.

It was a perfect match... all because my breast cancer fighting friend was clear! My breast cancer fighting friend cried from utter relief knowing that professional help was on the way!

And this positions her to focus all her energies on what matters the most to her...winning her fight with breast cancer.

And let me repeat it: all because she was clear and could communicate what it is she wanted, she was going to be able to achieve a (life saving) goal.

What do you REALLY want?

Once you know that, go tell it (in 30 seconds) to at least five people that you think maybe able to help you (meaning, step outside your comfort zone; spouses and children don't count).

Love ya and go be great!

Thursday, July 7, 2016

My Declaration of Independence by Angel Quintana

My Declaration of Independence

I will no longer...
Apologize for doing what makes me happy
Respond to anyone who is passive aggressive
Dim my light because it makes you feel uncomfortable
Feel bad about something I did not do
Encourage mediocrity
Be friends with people I don't trust
Be friends with people whom don't trust me
Pretend I'm okay when I'm not
Wonder if you like me, it's cool if you don't
Say I'm bad at public speaking, I'm pretty fucking good at it actually
Forget to send texts to people who mean the world to me
Invite people to hang out who wait weeks or months to respond
Care what you think of me or believe in your negative mind to be true about me
Read emails or listen to messages from people I don't like
Worry about my thighs
Worry about my hair
Be a sucker for your sales pitch
Trust a salesman who treats me like a dollar bill
Talk about the weather or engage in small talk - it's so boring I could die
Talk down to a customer service agent (this will be very difficult)
Hold on so tight I can't let go
Accept a friend request from someone I don't like
Bite my tongue- if it bugs me it's worth saying
Allow manipulation to be engaged in any rhyme or reason

This is my life. I am independent and take responsibility for myself and for myself alone. If I feel I have wronged someone, I will reach out. If you don't hear from me it's because I am independent of you. I don't beat around the bush, pussy foot around, or keep you hanging- so don't think I will let you do that to me.
Be nice. Be confident in who you are. And most of all be real!
Life's too short to expend energy that is not yours, to care what people think about you, what they say behind your back or what they post passive aggressively on fb or any other social platform. Acknowledge the fact that people are insecure and will raise their voice so you hear them, but refrain from engaging in such behaviors. Acknowledge the fact that there are people who might want to stir you up so they can take you down. It's true, people will want to see you fail.
But you aren't here to be liked, you are here to be loved. Surround yourself with people who love you, ONLY.
You are independent and so am I. We were given the freedom of choice and that includes who is allowed to be in your world. Choose wisely and then celebrate the ones who stayed. Show gratitude to them, for it is these special few who will be there for you when success shows up, victory is won and when life throws you major curve balls.

Happy Independence Day.

Angel Quintana is the Founder of Holistic Fashionista, a community of women who believe every woman has the ability to use her femininity and her brain to change the world. Angel is leading a group whose goal is to pioneer a movement to support holistic leaders and lightworkers who want to make the world a happier, healthier, and more stylish place to be by offering holistic solutions to every day problems. From getting clear skin, to having healthier relationships, to learning to love ourselves unconditionally, the Holistic Fashionista mission is to celebrate life and it’s potent natural healers.