90% of my career has been working in male dominate industries. So I was able to directly observe how men go about positioning themselves for promotion, going after their goals and assembling a team or resources to support that goal.
This brings me to the purpose of this post: I have seen and known of more people not successfully meeting their goals because they didn't make clear, well articulated statements about what it is that they want! This was one of my most key observations from seeing the men I worked with achieve their goals time and time again.
Read that paragraph again. And again.
I know there's plenty of research and gurus that talk about the importance of your mentality (what you think), your execution, etc. These are important.
But ask yourself, can you tell me in 30 seconds or less what it is you REALLY want?
Most people can't.
And to clarify: you will know whether you are being clear in describing what it is you want because I should be able to "see" it too just by you describing it.
Why is this important?
You can't expect other people to know how to support or help you if you don't even know what it is you want!
Let me give you two examples:
Example #1: there is a kind woman I met about two years ago. Since we met through a mutual connection, I have made repeated requests to her in supporting the growth of my business. She is a great person who has repeatedly come to mind when I needed support for unproven products or ideas.
But here's the interesting part...she rarely asks for my help or support in return. I've almost had to stalk her to accept help from me or to create an idea for her on how I can help.
And guess what: I wouldn't be surprised if she felt like our relationship was one-sided. But that was not my intention in making repeated asks. I'm just comfortable with asking and being clear about what I want!
Here's the key idea: you cannot be upset with someone who you may feel isn't being supportive all because YOU haven't been clear in what it is that you want!
You are to blame. Not them.
So imagine my shock when, after two years of a growing friendship, she sent me note asking for my support of her most direct and clear request to date! I was almost stumbling over myself typing out the "Yes!"
Note: this is not about a "tit-for-tat", I do for you, you do for me. This is about a genuine desire to be of service to help other people win while you also pursue those things that will help you win by directly and clearly asking for what you want!
Example #2: I bumped into a very old friend who told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Due to her limited energy from radiation treatment and challenging work as a corporate attorney, she needed personal assistant help.
She was very clear in what she needed and how much time and pay that would require. Because she was so clear, another friend who has time but needs to earn some extra cash popped into my head!!!
I immediately described my other friend, her professional background and the specific amount of time and money she needed.
It was a perfect match... all because my breast cancer fighting friend was clear! My breast cancer fighting friend cried from utter relief knowing that professional help was on the way!
And this positions her to focus all her energies on what matters the most to her...winning her fight with breast cancer.
And let me repeat it: all because she was clear and could communicate what it is she wanted, she was going to be able to achieve a (life saving) goal.
What do you REALLY want?
Once you know that, go tell it (in 30 seconds) to at least five people that you think maybe able to help you (meaning, step outside your comfort zone; spouses and children don't count).
Love ya and go be great!