Monday, August 24, 2015

Dump Frenemies...You Deserve #SissyFriends!

I've wanted to make this post for a while but for some reason that I can't explain, I've held back.

So here goes: one of the worst words I've EVER heard in all my years of living is the word "Frenemies"...WTH?

What is a frenemy? Where did it originate? And more importantly, WHY are women repeating it in homes, in media, amongst their friends, etc?

Do we really have such low value of the love and support we need and deserve that we're willing to accept Frenemies in our lives?

Excuse me but that's BULL....!!!

My take and belief in the power of great girlfriends who come with unconditional support stems from my observation as a kid of the women in our small family church:

  • who would grieve for weeks (sometimes months) with women who lost husbands/children, 
  • who would lend money for new businesses/go back to college/pay a monthly mortgage note, 
  • who would feed the neighborhood children during mass layoffs, 
  • who would talk another from the "ledge" when they wanted to give up the most, 
  • who would pray for healing while also showing up at the hospital get the idea.

Our great country and world was literally built on women banning together during some of the most toughest times in our world's history...wars, economic downturns, spiritual lows, confusion. Women, no matter what the history books choose to showcase or not, always stood as the backbone towards recovery, healing and reconciliation.

So the idea of a Frenemy is so beyond my comprehension I don't even know where to begin!

So, I'm proposing that we completely re-engineer what media, movies or entertainment wants to tell us about our bond...let the new dialogue be about highlighting your positive influences and relationships with your "Sissy Friends".

Sissy Friends are not acquaintances, Facebook friends, casual friendships, etc. No. Sissy Friends are those special women who have proven through deeds that their unconditional support is not contingent or superficial.

Your Sissy Friends can be related to you or not related to you...the key is its someone who you can say has earned that special designation in your heart and life!

And be clear about who those people are and treat them more special than your casual friendships and acquaintances... This is something I have had to grow in. I love people and have sometimes treated all my friendships on an equal platform. The non-Sissy Friends I treated special was mostly due to my own insecurity of subconsciously thinking I could eventually make them see how special I was...wrong!!!

And lastly, before I wrote this post, I sat back and asked myself if I had a Frenemy... I took off the "eyes" of my innocent, naive youth and did a grown woman's sincere ask.

Guess what, there is a Frenemy that I have ignored a gut feeling about. Writing this post in vulnerable honesty has forced me to face my gut's wisdom. Don't get me wrong, you will have casual acquaintances that are Frenemies, just be clear about that and don't treat them as special by revealing your heart, goals, fears, and weaknesses to...those things are reserved for your reciprocal relationship with your Sissy Friend...and that's the good stuff!!!

Declare on this day that you will completely eradicate the word Frenemy from your vocabulary and be more communicative of your Sissy Friend relationships (or any fellow woman who does an above and beyond deed, even if it's one time).

It's the Curva-Lish way...

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