Monday, December 7, 2015

Your New Normal: Adopting Successful Habits

No matter what I write or when I write it, I strive to give the readers a unique way of being empowered based on real life experiences and by connecting dots in ways that I don't personally see in media.

I'm okay if this style doesn't reach certain people because honestly, I don't have the time or bandwidth to write about things that someone can easily and quickly Google. My ultimate goal for writing is to get to real life scenarios, events and wisdom that causes you to know you are not alone, an authentic life can be messy/complex to achieve and "failing forward" is not failing...

So let me get to today's post: I wish someone would have explained this to me.

Once you set a NEW goal or resolution for your life, go through a transition, or have a major change in your life, you will experience a peek of the new-ness of that goal (I call this the Honeymoon Phase) but guess what...once the euphoria of the Honeymoon Phase wears out, you will be immediately smacked upside the head with the real world of impending failure if you don't engage new disciplines required to allow time and experience to manifest that goal.

In all my years of living, I have yet to read or hear about one person on this planet reaching a goal based on the euphoria of the Honeymoon Phase.

And let me be clear, I am not referring to goals that are easily reach-able, well within your grasp and/or only requires short term focus.

When I say goal in this instance, I'm referring to B-I-G goals:

  • I want to lead my Mompreneur Group and take it global so that more women know they can be Moms and entrepreneurs;
  • I want to be a Vice President of my company because I want to have a voice in policies that directly impact women;
  • I want to be a great Mom for my adopted children who come from broken homes;
  • I want my community leadership to unite my broken city and give a voice to the voice-less;
  • I want to volunteer 40 hours per month and Become a Board Member of that nonprofit because it's saving the lives of girls who are illegally trafficked;
  • I want to be the worship leader at my place of worship because I believe I'm gifted to touch people around the world.
  • I want to be the #1 in sales for my company so I can retire early and spend the latter part of my life be a blessing to orphanages around the world.

Why is this important enough for me to take 30 minutes to write this post hoping to empower you?

Because I didn't understand it; the lack of knowledge about this topic has caused failures in my life.

For example, when I became an entrepreneur I did what most people do during the Honeymoon Phase, I used my capital to buy fancy websites, listened to the opinions of non-entrepreneur friends, spent a ton of time on social media trying to "impress people" with my new decision (instead of using it to brand and get clients), assumed I would get massive clients because people "like" me, giving "free" sessions assuming the client would hire me/help me get access to their network, modeled my life after women entrepreneurs who had husbands/inheritances/etc.

In other words, I was putting everyone else's opinions, goals, thoughts and causes before my own!  And to compound it, I never took the time, training or secured Coaching to help me adopt new Habits for what needed to be a new normal. I continued the same Habits as when I was in corporate that made me successful.

Once the Honeymoon Phase wore off about a year and some months later, I had little to show (business wise) for the bubble I lived in during the Honeymoon Phase.

Don't get me wrong, I had successes including membership on Boards, events, trips, etc. That might seem "successful" but my business was failing fast! 

Entrepreneurship is is no respecter of race, money, or any other supposed advantage. Entrepreneurship respects hustle (and time)...period.

Estee Lauder reflecting back when she first started her company: "In business, you have to marry it. It has to be your focus or you won't last long. You eat thinking about it, you wake up thinking about. It's required for greatness."

Don't believe me? Key Stat: 9 out of 10 businesses fail within first three years and 8 out of 10 fail within first five years.

I'm using my very personal example of entrepreneurship to illustrate the point of this post: no matter your goal, you won't reach it (that's not intended to be negative) if you don't become obsessed with the achievement of that goal as your new normal and guess what fuels that obsession besides the obvious things like passion and having a "why"? 


Yes, unsexy, got to will yourself to do it Habits.

And guess who's responsible for your Habits...YOU.

This post is getting long so I'll post the tips I have for you to WIN at achieving your goals for whatever new normal you have before you tomorrow...again, I wish someone would have shared this real-ness with me.

And quick note, just in case you're thinking it, yes, I have mentors and loved ones. Three of my four mentors highly discouraged me from starting my Coaching & Strategic Advisory firm (nor offered to connect me with paying clients or contacts) no matter how much I tried to convince them that I felt " called" to do this...they are no longer mentors.

And this will relate to one of the tips I'll share tomorrow: Re-assess your advisors.

Check back tomorrow and I hope you read this with the Love in my heart in which I wrote it...I believe in you!

Signed, #CurvaLish

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