#MyStarbucksLife: Lifelong Friends

#MyStarbucksLife: these two women have been friends for about 40 years. When they first met, the Caucasian lady (I didn't catch their names) said she knew the African American lady was going to be her lifelong BFF because she shared the exact same birthday as her husband. Her husband has since passed on and the ladies still go on their friend dates. 

 The African American lady has arthritis so her BFF brings and pours the sugar and milk for her coffee to the table. I was teary watching their sisterly love that you can tell has withstood many life highs and lows. They were also a pleasure to speak with and told me they didn't know what Facebook was when I told them I would post their picture. 

Ha!

Daring Greatly...Keep Believing

Our modern times know of the phrase "Daring Greatly" from vulnerability expert Brene Brown but what most don't know is that this phrase is taken from a very powerful speech by Theodore Roosevelt titled "Citizenship in a Republic".

I've had a tough two weeks as an entrepreneur and the following excerpt blessed me tremendously so I'm copying this excerpt hoping it blesses you to keep moving forward, in the arena of life, to dare greatly and be authentic:

Brene Brown with Oprah Winfrey

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena... 

...whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming...

...but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause...

...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." 

And here's what life mastery expert Robin Sharma had to say about the speech: "It's so easy to be a naysayer. Too simple to tear the dreamer down. All too common to condemn the visionary. And, as you know, critics generally have the biggest complaints around the work they wish they did. 

The credit for all acts of genius and mastery does go to the one in the arena. The one with the guts to hear the haters and keep moving ahead. The one who takes the leap and ends up bruised, battered and even bloodied. The one who hears the noisy voices of self-doubt yet trusts something larger and wiser within that encourages him to continue, against all odds. 

The path of mastery is not for the meek. The highway to audacity is not for the faint of heart. The route to world-class is a messy, chaotic, gorgeous, terrifying, fulfilling, brilliant, confusing ride. Not easy. But easy is vastly overrated... 

...give me hard and demanding anytime, for that's where growth lives. And that's where our greatest rewards lie. I want to be totally spent by the time I'm done. No point in dying with your gifts still within you."

I pray that despite the real risk of stumbles, you valiantly stay in the arena...I've made up in my mind that I most certainly will if for no other reason than to know that in this lifetime, I really LIVED.

Keep believing...

Intentions, "The Secret" and Faith: Are They Different?

I have heard many people use the word "intention" or say things like "the universe conspires to give you what you want" (a lot of times rooted in the messaging from "The Secret" or Oprah).

I'm going to be real: every time I heard the word or phrase it always sounded like some mystical desires that people used to not face their fears in hopes that the things they desire will magically be sat in their lap without any sacrifice or massive actions. It is human nature to take the road of least resistance and depending on your natural pre-disposition, you can associate tough-ness with the universe working against you or you not desiring something enough. What I know for sure is that even healthy, positive change and growth has a certain tough-ness or sacrifice involved.

So, while I still somewhat don't understand the die-hard fans of The Secret, I am becoming more of a believer in how a burning desire to get to a goal or a result can cause people or events to trigger a step(s) towards your desires.

The difference to me between the cult followers of The Secret and what I have experienced is what I believe is defined by faith: getting clarity and being focused on a desired outcome that is beyond your natural abilities to bring about...faith causes your "vision" to change and your vision is what causes you to see opportunity when it presents itself.

Here are a couple of recent examples that have floored me:
* There is an office building across the street from where I work and one day I said to myself "I want to sign up several clients in that building." A couple of weeks later, I was at the Starbucks across the street working and a young lady who was also working on her laptop at the Starbucks tells me she works in that office building.

After chatting for a few minutes (including her being fascinated by what I do as a Coach), she gives me her email address and says she'd love to give me a tour of the people and offices in the building...my jaw was on the ground! This random young lady I met at a Starbucks is my IN to the office building I desire to have clients!

* As a Style Ambassador with India Hicks, I realize how much of a draw and inspiration our Founder and Leader is to many women. In order to recruit more Style Ambassadors to join us on this FUN journey, I want to attend a few of our company's in-person India Hicks meetings. She'll be in Detroit soon and that is a city I really believe will love the opportunity our business offers.

So last Saturday I toyed with the idea of traveling to Detroit. I thought of the local contacts I have there and thought of a fabulous young lady (Detroit native) I first met two years ago in Chicago that I've since befriended. So my plan was to text the local Detroit native Monday afternoon to inquire whether she'll help me navigate around Detroit. At 9am Monday morning I get a random text from this young lady from Detroit saying "Hi Que! You were on my mind and I thought I'd reach out and text you. I haven't heard from you in a few months." I almost fell out of my chair!


I'm sure some people will give credit for these two examples to the Universe, intention, having faith, a clear vision, etc. You can call it whatever you want...the power of these events is that they are but small examples of what I believe happens in the course of all of our lives! To me these types of events are proof that in our world of wanting tangible "I'll believe it when I see it", if we would just make our specific (non-ego) intentions and desires known, then just maybe we can all be humbled in knowing that there is "something" working towards our good....

I choose to believe, by my faith in God, that there is something working towards our good...no matter what you want to call it.

Stay open. Make your heartfelt intentions known. Believe in something bigger than yourself. And be humbled at how the dots start connecting!

What If...

What if you are doing better than you think?

What if you are exactly where you need to be?

What if you have exactly what you need to realize your dreams?

What if that opportunity is not meant for you?

What if you are already fully equipped to be happy?

What if your life is already the embodiment of courage and inspiration to others?

What if you are not meant to be Oprah but are meant to be you?

What if that failure was necessary to keep you humble?

What if that new friend that looks so different than you is intended to help heal a broken area in your life?

What if that child with disability or special needs was chosen to be yours?

What if that new opportunity that you feel incapable of accomplishing will help you get over your control issues?

What if that loss was allowed to happen because in your spirit, you weren't brave enough to decide to let go?

What if that rainbow that caught your attention was a reminder to you that miracles do happen?

What if that surprise act of kindness was for you to know you are not alone?

What if your gift was not meant to be your career objective but be the miracle that's given away to bless others?

What if you really believed that you were meant to be great?

What if you stopped placing limits on your life?

What if you stopped creating excuses for your shortcomings and instead went all out and discovered an area where you've been hiding?

What if you exercised discipline to practice your passion until it becomes an obsession that puts you before the great?

What if you became more patient and let go?

What if you forgave those that hurt you and started to trust again?

What if you stopped shrinking?

What if...

The Bold Self-Love Act of a Mom

I saw this video going viral on social media and wanted to share...

A Mom stripped down to her underwear in a busy Idaho market as a bold act to deal with her self-esteem issues.

This video is the most powerful two-minute video I've ever seen.

Watch it here: http://www.hlntv.com/video/2015/09/09/self-acceptance-self-love-bikini-public

The quote I loved the most contained in the video is:

"In a world that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act."

Be rebellious...like yourself.

Confession: I've Been Shrinking

This is a difficult blog post to write but it is imporant to me to write because I refuse to be the head of a blog empowering women to be authentic and not live that message my self.

To my shock and horror over the weekend I had a big aha: I have been shrinking back from life.

To those who know me and to myself, I had no idea. The people who know me will either be shocked or agree that they've seen me shrink but didn't know how to tell me or articulate it to me.

Let me explain...

I hit a peak of Success in my life, career, and achievements early because I've always soaked up information fast, been great with people and strived to be my personal best. There's nothing wrong with that but what made me burn out was the constant judgment from others to always be successful at everything I did, working in a career whereas I felt I always needed to represent my race and feminine side while being tough because I was normally the only one in the (board or executive) room, being talked about and having decisions questioned, etc, etc.

I felt I could never just be normal...I always had to perform and live up to the Diva name that always seemed to follow me wherever I went, no matter where the place or situation. People weren't referring to me as a Diva in a bad way; they were saying it as a compliment but I didn't like the expectations that came along with it.

For example, if I had chipped nails there would be negative comments, if I wanted to sit quiet in a room instead of my normal outgoing self there would be comments about my "bad attitude", if I was attending a board meeting with my white male colleagues I would have studied for a week so that I wouldn't be considered incompetent, losing friends due to envy...you get the idea.

And this went on for me day in and day out for more than a decade. I couldn't explain it to anyone, I couldn't articulate it to my family and friends...and to add to all this, in this same decade I lost both my parents. I was getting crushed under the pressure, grief and stress...

So when I left my six figure, elite oil&gas job in 2011, it wasn't just about pursuing my dream of being an entrepreneur... It was to also save my own life.

Four years later, much wiser and clearer about who I am and what I want to do, I struggle with getting back in the " game". I'm being pulled back in the game because our world needs the people who strive to serve and make a global impact to be able to thrive and deal with what comes with the success...hence the whole mission of my coaching and strategic advisory firm. I now know that's why we all need tools and resources to maximize our potential because as a human, we can only handle so much!

For the last four years I have backed away (what I'm calling shrinking) from anything that remotely makes me stand out as a Diva, Standout, Top Leader, etc...I stopped wearing makeup as much (I love makeup!), I stopped wearing my best clothes (Armani and other name brands I scored at outlets!), I gained lots of weight, I stopped the momentum of serving on Boards, etc, etc.

This weekend's aha was so very timely for me because I am not a Shrinker...I was born to stand up to everything that comes with me living out my purpose! I know this now...

And what's interesting is that I can always tell when someone is shrinking...I know acquaintances, friends, executives, and former colleagues who are making decisions that subconsciously are shrinking decisions. I only know this because I have been one of them.

Don't shrink.

Again, don't shrink. Take a break, take a sabbatical, take an extended retreat, hire a counselor, hire a coach (I'm a great coach and would genuinely love to be there for you!)...do whatever you have to do but don't shrink!!!

The world needs your light...email me at thesupagroup@gmail.com to get coached on maximizing your potential without reverting to shrinking. We offer the tools and resources that supports the weight of you living out your purpose and standing out.

As always, I believe in you and this is the message of authenticity I wished was shared more in the world. No worries, Curva-Lish will always be that for you in the pursuit of your purpose, with grace and style.

Saying Bye to Summer with India Hicks & The Duchess

One of My Favorite Pictures of India Hicks

It is Labor Day weekend in the United States and tgast normally marks the end of summer!

Today also marks the 48th birthday of our Style Ambassador Tribe leader, the graceful and witty India Hicks!

Hicks made this inspiring video in celebration of our young Style company titled "It's Just the Beginning"...it is lovely!

Watch it here: "It's Just the Beginning"

India Hicks Duchess Bag with Gladiolus

Shop The Duchess

Although summer is eending, I can't tell you how excited I am for Fall! As Hicks titled the video, it is just the beginning and you are FULL of possibilities! Now go be Curva-Lish...

#CollectiveAmbassador: Are You Afraid of Success?

As I've written about before, I am an Ambassador with the Australian brand Collective Hub created by entrepreneur Lisa Messenger. The Collective Hub is a magazine and lifestyle brand leading a movement for "game changers, rule breakers, thought leaders, and Style makers challenging the status quo".

Loved this feature from Collective Hub about the fear of success...so inspiring (summary below):

Did you know that Dustin Hoffman co-wrote the 1979 movie Kramer vs. Kramer? No? That’s not surprising. It was a closely guarded secret. In fact, the actor only revealed that he helped write the movie shortly after his 77th birthday and that it was his decision to downplay his input. “I just have never taken credit for it – stupidly. Another one was Tootsie: my friend and I co-wrote the early drafts. He took credit. I didn’t want to. Rain Man was another one…" 

It seems like a backward attitude in a fame-hungry culture such as Hollywood, so why wouldn’t Dustin want to be applauded? “I would say there was an element of self sabotage in me soon after I learned how to walk, which has never really left me." And he’s not alone in underplaying his achievements. Many entrepreneurs, creative and highly ambitious people are guilty of holding themselves back, and many don’t even realise they’re doing it. Although a certain level of modesty is a positive attribute, it can be a sign of a deeper issue.

The word sabotage can be defined as, “To deliberately destroy, damage or deconstruct something”, and when it comes to a person’s career path, it can show up in the form of procrastination, inattention to detail, or “extreme modesty”. 

So, why do we do it? One theory is that many people find a certain comfort in ailure; it’s familiar, it’s stable, there’s no danger of disappointment. In his book The Big Leap, psychologist Gay Hendricks writes, “Each of us has an innermost thermostat setting that determines how much love, success and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy.” The minute we exceed that setting – by making more money, experiencing more love, drawing more positive attention to ourselves, you trip your inner limit switch. A little voice inside us says, ‘You can’t possibly find ways to feel that good’ – so we find a way to feel bad. 

The good news is there are ways to make peace with positive progress. It’s time to flip your mindset; instead of preparing for the worst try preparing yourself for the best. “I find that many of my clients deliberately hold back or draw in ‘bad luck’ if they haven’t consciously thought through the ramifications of what could happen if they do succeed, such as how it will affect their lifestyle, family, friends and even community,” says Annabelle Drumm, a career coach specialising in creative industries. “When embarking on a project, really visualise what the end goal would look like and how you can ensure it will bring you contentment. You need to be in it for the long game. I’ve found that a lot of creative people start off with all the enthusiasm in the world but abandon ship as soon as they reach the first obstacle, and embark on another project.”

See the rest of the article at Collective Hub HERE

#FierceFriday: Marjorie Harvey

This week's #FierceFriday goes to the Fabulous-at-50 Marjorie Harvey! She is seen in a Michael Kors SS2015 pink and navy blue dress!

Marjorie you are fierce!

GET THE LOOK:
The Style of Harvey's dress is called the "fit and flare midi dress".

Get This Gorgeous Michael Kors Off the Runway Dress

Summer/Fall Sporting Events Outfit

I don't know about you but here in Texas it is still SO hot! September does not mark the start of Fall weather around here.

As you are attending baseball and football games where the temperature is still warm, here's a fresh way to update your classic white tee, Jean shorts and comfy sandals...add our India Hicks Eleuthra handbag in Stone (it's durable and washable so it's okay to sit down in stadiums or on benches)!

Be comfortable, keep it fashionable and more importantly, keep it Curva-Lish!