Friday, October 17, 2014

My Road to a Comeback

I felt compelled to write this post because I just don't see more information out there of people who are on a journey of a comeback.  I normally read about either extreme: someone who is at their bottom fighting off depression, sickness or other tragedy OR I read about people who are at their epitome...winning in everything they do.

Well, what about the folks like me who are in the midst of a comeback?

Quick Recap
I texted a friend this morning because after a three year hiatus, I am starting to accept invitations to  events again.  Starting at the age of 29, I was always about town, going to fabulous dinner parties, sitting on great boards/committees for the Dallas Opera, etc, etc.
Me (Left) and My Beloved Mother (Right)

And then my world started crashing all around me...

I don't technically recall when it started but in the five year time span between 31-36 years of age, I kept having loss after loss after loss.  Some of those losses included the death of both my biological parents (within two years of each other), loss of possessions, loss of friends, loss of my wholehearted innocence (a truly hard loss), loss of a friendship to a man that I thought I was destined to be married to...and I was doing my best to balance this all while being responsible for a $2MM compliance budget for the company I worked for that went through six mergers/acquisitions within this same five year time frame. I knew that the SEC and company shareholders would not understand it if I told them I needed a break from the 12 hour days because I was hurting and needed a break...the day I was driving home from work at midnight and almost crashed my car because I fell asleep at the wheel was my breaking my point.

My Bold Choice
And so then at 36 years old, I did a 360 and told the world "No".  The company I worked at was shocked at my resignation, I stopped accepting any and all invitations...I said "No" more times in a month (back then) than I recall ever saying in my entire life time up until that point...literally everyone was shocked.
  • I said no to bad friends.
  • I said no to one-sided relationships.
  • I said no to commitments.
  • I said no, no, no.
The hardest thing about this bold choice is that I lived off my frugal ways of saving all those years but the money was running out fast.

In a panic, I started reaching out to some folks to get connections for work, etc and to my utter amazement, people who I had helped stopped answering my calls, returning emails, etc.

My Comeback
You would think that after all of this I'd be some bitter, cynical, hard heart person today...actually, that couldn't be more from the truth.

During the period of my panic towards trying to recover, some pretty awesome things have occurred that helped me know that my faith was real:
Me at the White House Business Council Meeting
  • I chaired the 26,000 strong alumni association of INROADS.
  • I went to the White House as apart of their Business Council meeting.
  • I have a stronger bond with my family and friends who are left...I won't ever forget what they have done for me.  Sometimes it was as simple as feeding me for Sunday family dinners!
  • I was able to grieve and let go of all those losses I experienced in such a short period of time.
  • I am solid and at peace with who I am and what I can do. No more expending effort on people who will never get me or be a genuine friend.
  • I still wholeheartedly believe in people but the difference is that I accept people for who they are...I'm not trying to change no one.  I have my hands full being myself!
I could go on and on but you get the idea.

The Truth Speaks
What's interesting is that more recently, invitations have started pouring in again.  The invitations don't determine my worth, I just think it's very interesting that when I have decided it's time to move boldly forward with where my life is now (CEO of my strategic advisory firm and creator of this great blog), the truth is speaking and confirming.

The only difference between the invitations and my life now versus then is I'm no longer the innocent, believe anyone, put others first before myself woman.  I am now the firm, bold, secure, put myself first, hopeful, don't care how many likes I get on social media and wise woman that I know my mother always knew I'd be. I'm a force and I know it.

I hope you find inspiration and know that whether you are in the midst of a challenging time or orchestrating your own comeback, you will always find an honest commentary from me and our other Curva-Lish Ambassadors here.  That's the only way I know to truly live an authentic life of style, grace and purpose...


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